I hold the warmth of your lonely soul.
Let your fears go.
Let them fly away and dissipate.
That’s how we’ll make our escape.
– +positive masters+, Jon Riki Karamatsu, Poem, 6/22/2019 –
You can be physically lonely, and you can be mentally lonely. Your fears can control your mind. You may keep them within you because you don’t want anyone to see your vulnerability. However, by talking about your fears to someone who is understanding, that person may be able to help you to take the necessary steps to push away your perception of your fears, which are often distorted. Talk therapy or psychotherapy with an understanding person can help you break out of your blown out of proportion perception.
In nonattachment, a practice developed in Buddhism, feel your negative emotions but don’t let them be attached to you and bring you down. In the Eightfold Path, the first of the eight practices is to have a right understanding, which is to do your best to understand the truth. Ask yourself, “What is the truth to your fears?” Are your fears real, or are you imagining them? For example, if you’re telling yourself you’re not good enough to succeed, is that really true? No, you’ve succeeded before. Yes, you’ve failed in the past, but that was a part of the process of your growth that led you to succeed again. When you look back in your life, you’ll identify how you’ve made your comeback from your failures. You see, your fears are often filled with things that aren’t true. Don’t let your fears be attached to you. Understand your fears, and let them flow through you so you don’t get held back by them.
Another mindset practice that we mentioned in previous blog posts is the middle way practice that was also developed in Buddhism, which is to stay in the middle of your life’s journey. In this case, by staying in the middle way, you’ll be able to see your extreme perceptions of your fears at a distance to the side or both sides, but you can move past them as your proceed down the middle path.
Combine the middle way practice with psychotherapy, cognitive therapy, nonattachment, and right understanding as an arsenal of tools to overcome your fears.
I wrote the poem pictured in this blog post over a year ago. In it, the protagonist tells his lover to let go of her fears after she bravely reveals them to him (psychotherapy and non attachment). He not only keeps her warm physically, but mentally and spiritually.
With Warmest Aloha,
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