For all of you who gave it your all and have experienced sitting on the bench for sports, not getting accepted to the university of your choice, receiving rejections on your passion projects, and getting attacks by the haters, the strength you have built within you is amazing!
You gave it your all and put yourself out there, which has made you more resilient and tenacious to keep moving forward! I know you got a lot of wins out of your journey, and you’ll get many more! Keep going hard!
Enjoy the Positive Masters universe at www.positivemasters.com for mindset and business practices, motivational writing and podcast, and apparel and accessories with inspirational mantras to boost your happiness and counter any anxiety, sadness, or anger that you may be facing.
Don’t blow things up out of proportion or minimize them.
Cognitive Distortions – Part 6
Don’t blow things up out of proportion or minimize them.
When you fail, don’t exaggerate your errors and imperfections. Don’t blow them up way out of proportion because doing so will cause you unnecessary grief. Everyone make mistakes. Failure plays a huge role in your learning process; however, you may fear it as you get older. Constantly remind yourself that failure is part of your growth. If you fall down, you can get back up again stronger by learning from your mistakes. When you tried to walk as baby, you would fall down often, sometimes getting injured; yet, you kept getting up and trying again until walking became second nature.
Products, services, and philosophical and scientific theories are proven through trial and error. Thomas Edison went through thousands of prototypes before he was able to successfully create the light bulb. Henry Ford became financially broke 5 times and was advised to stay away from the automobile industry. He persisted until he successfully developed automobiles for the commercial market.
Even Albert Einstein struggled. As a student, he performed so poorly that he nearly decided to drop out and sell life insurance. After graduating from the Swiss Polytechnic Institute at 21 years old, Einstein had to work many odd jobs to sustain himself. His father died believing he was a failure. Einstein was emotionally crushed. Eventually, he became employed as a patent clerk. He would review patents and analyze mathematical equations daily, and he loved it. Einstein’s passion for math led him down the path to becoming one of the greatest scientists in world history. This example shows how failure can lead you to your passions.
Some failures are out of your control such as a car exploding and crashing into your vehicle, causing you to miss an important meeting that that ended badly with the investor leaving. Or, like our current situation with the Coronavirus, a pandemic spreads, causing the economy to shut down, which leads to you losing money. In these situations that are out of your control, don’t exaggerate the errors and imperfections. Instead, always have gratitude for the positive – you are still alive.
Neither should you exaggerate the errors and imperfections of others. By doing so, you will lash out undue judgment. This is where having empathy for others can tame your distorted view on the failure of others. Remind yourself that you could fail just as bad or worse. If you place hell on others, be ready to receive the same wrath from people when you fail at the same thing.
When I was a litigation attorney, I was once stuck in traffic for almost 2 hours on the freeway, on my way to Honolulu District Court from West Oahu because of an accident ahead of me. I arrived at the courtroom with 5 minutes before it was to start; but the judge was already sitting in her chair gaveling the start of the hearing. She berated me without giving me a chance to apologize. A year later, that same judge was almost a half an hour late to another court hearing. She sat down and oversaw the hearing like nothing happened. She didn’t even apologize to any of us. In this real life example, the judge blew things way out of proportion for me even though I had 5 minutes more before the court was to begin; whereas, she treated her tardiness like it never happened. Moral of the story, don’t blow things out of proportion for the errors of others either. You will cause unnecessary stress on your target and others around you. When you make the same mistake, shit will start flying back at you, whether it is uncomfortable stares or more. People like that also seem to have less friends because they hold high standards on others that doesn’t apply to themselves.
Lastly, when it comes to your strengths, don’t minimize them. For instance, when you achieve a nice score on your test, don’t minimize your success by telling yourself that you were just lucky when you studied your butt off. When your third attempt at a start-up company finally succeeds, don’t pass it off as simply being lucky. No, you worked darn hard for many years to get where you are. You sacrificed by living with little money to build your business. Embrace your success. Don’t shrink them. Nor should you minimize the success of others. They also sacrificed a lot to achieve them. Be happy for them. If you’re minimizing yourself now, let me say this, “You’re great, and you deserve those wins! Keep crushing it!”
Enter the +positive masters+ universe at http://www.positivemasters.com for mindset practices, motivational writing, and apparel with inspirational mantras and designs to boost your happiness and counter any stress, anxiety, sadness, or anger that you may be facing. ❤️
Nothing is fair. Understanding this will set you free from regret and resentment.
Nothing is fair. Understanding this will set you free from regret and resentment. Why? Because what seems fair for you may not be seen as fair for someone else. ⚖️
Look at our careers. What you bring to the table in your business or job will be seen differently by each individual. 🤔
The same goes for punishment. Why do you think the judges and juries make widely different decisions in sentencing people for offenses? We all have our own biases and perceptions. That’s why a person with a conviction of a violent crime can have a fine while a person convicted of a non-violent crime can go to prison. Us humans, with all our flaws, operate in shades of gray. 🙈
We can only do our best to see the big picture and understand all parties involved in an issue. Hopefully, everyone involved can find the fairest agreement possible – not 100% fair but fairest possible, which involves compromise. If people lie, have shaky reasoning, or have extreme biases, they have to live with it. People will eventually avoid them. Whatever the outcome, you must do all you can to accept it as it is. Whatever is done, is done. Even if the outcome is lopsided, for the sake of your inner peace, you must accept it. If you don’t, you’ll be haunted by regret and/or resentment that will eat away your soul. 😱
My friends, if you’re going through challenging issues, I sincerely wish you inner peace. It’ll be tough at first, but you’ll eventually smile, and then over time, you’ll feel bits and pieces of happiness. Keep going until you’re fully lit from the inside out with positive energy! 👊
Positive Masters is an e-commerce store at www.positivemasters.com that provides lifestyle practices, creative writing, apparel, accessories, and fashion to boost your happiness and counter any stress, anxiety, sadness or anger you may be facing. We offer free shipping for purchases of $50 or more! 🛍️
I seek loneliness to protect me. This is a poem about wanting inner peace from judgment and attacks. When your work puts you out in the public, you will get judged, attacked, and punished harsher than if you are quiet and anonymous.
I seek loneliness to protect me.
Hiding my dreams from my enemies.
If I have nothing, then why would anyone attack me for nothing?
Little by little, I make my imagination real.
In time, you can touch it.
Then, you can tell me how it makes you feel.
– Positive Masters, Jon Riki Karamatsu, Poem, 10/25/2019 -
This is a poem about wanting inner peace from judgment and attacks. When your work puts you out in the public, you will get judged, attacked, and punished harsher than if you are quiet and anonymous. I dedicate this poem to all of you going through your challenges. Keep going my friends! 😊❤️
Positive Masters is an e-commerce store at www.positivemasters.com that provides lifestyle practices, creative writing, apparel, accessories, and fashion to boost your happiness and counter any stress, anxiety, or sadness you may be facing. We offer free shipping for purchases of $50 or more! 👕👚🛍️
Live the middle way. From the middle, you can see the light in every dark situation.
Part 1 of 3: Live the middle way. From the middle, you can see the light in every dark situation. 😊
Live the middle way. From the middle, you can see the connection between dark and light because from the middle, you can see everything, dark, light, and all the shades in-between. If you can see the light when you’re in darkness, even a glimmer of light, then you can be grateful in your darkest moments. 🌅
We humans are prone to judging others and our experiences. We label people and our experiences as either bad (dark) or good (light). From the middle, you don’t jump to a conclusion that someone is either dark or light, bad or good. From the middle, you don’t jump to a conclusion that an experience is dark or light, bad or good. 🌄
When a person lashes his or her anger at you, you’re tempted to label that person as a dark person. When you’re in the middle, you’ll see the light in even the most hateful person. You go deeper and have empathy for that person who may have suffered deeply at the hands of others. 🙏
For my career, my worst experience was working in a courtroom with an elder judge who was often grumpy and giving tantrums. I was so broken down by this man that my close friend Brandon took me to the beach in the middle of my workday to lift my spirit up. Being in the Vietnam War was his backstory. There was probably more to his story. He would break the law and give leniency to veterans of war. He was always kind towards beautiful women. In contrast, he would slam the book at ordinary citizens, even sending a kid to prison for a number of days for racing his car on a street. Instead of hating the judge like some of the other attorneys, staff, and citizens attending the hearings, I did my best to look deeper to see how he may have suffered emotionally from the war or maybe even by the way his parents raised him. By doing this, I could wish the judge happiness. ❤
[I wrote this article for Positive Masters, an e-commerce store at www.positivemasters.com, which provides lifestyle practices, creative writing, apparel, accessories, and fashion to boost your happiness and counter any stress, anxiety, or sadness you may be facing. We offer free shipping for purchases of $50 or more!]
I became a lawyer and politician with this goal in mind through the laws and programs I created or supported.
I enjoy business because #commerce can connect people when a great value is provided.
I love writing fiction because you can touch the souls of people by evoking their emotions through the struggles your characters go through. If you can make a reader have compassion and empathy for a character they would have disliked or even hated but for the story, then you’ve played a small role in bridging the division created by human judgment. Such stories can be adapted into audio and visual form such as audio books and movies to reach a greater audience.
Nonfiction writing can play a role in our self-development in not just our career but our personal development to attain inner peace. If all of us are at peace, the world will be at peace.
So what do you think about attaining world peace? If we break it down into bite size pieces and work on ourselves and help others every single day, it’s possible right!
May peace be with you! Sending you positive energy!
JON RIKI KARAMATSU · My passion is promoting inner peace through my brand +positive masters+ located at www.positivemasters.com . +positive masters+ provides life practices, creative writing, books, apparel, accessories and fashion to boost your happiness and counter any of your anxiety and sadness. In my work as a lawyer, consultant, and entrepreneur, I enjoy building and expanding companies. In my past, I served eight years as a Hawaii State Representative; owned an Internet retail business for ten years; served four and a half years as a Deputy Prosecuting Attorney and Legislative Liaison for the Department of the Prosecuting Attorney, City and County of Honolulu; and produced campaign, cultural, and music events since 2002. As a lawyer, I advocate for entities that need new or amended rules, regulations, and/or statutes by drafting legislation, resolutions, and/or proposals, followed by written and oral testimonies before government bodies. I also assist companies with government incentives, special revenue bonds, government applications, government permits, public and private grants, proactive legal defense strategies, product and services development, marketing, public affairs, and media affairs. Further, I review, draft, and negotiate business agreements and documents. Every so often, I help clients in settling disputes through negotiation, mediation, and/or arbitration. Further, I'm a partner in a start-up aviation fixed-base operator company in Hawaii, which we plan to break ground in 2019. I enjoy creative writing as well, completing a paranormal, romance, historical, and suspense novel based in Hawaii during the 2000s that has been copyrighted and is being shopped around for representation. I'm currently writing my second novel, a historical, romance, and suspense story based in Iraq during the U.S. occupation and war.