Live the middle way. From the middle, dark and light is one. From the middle, we can see everything, dark, light, and everything in between. If you can see the light in darkness, then you can be grateful in your darkest moments.
Humans are prone to judging others and experiences. From the middle, you don’t jump to conclusion that someone is either dark or light, good or bad. From the middle, you don’t jump to conclusion that an experience is dark or light, good or bad.
When a person lashes his or her anger at you, you’re tempted to label that person as a dark person. When you’re in the middle, you’ll see the light, in even the most hateful person. You go deeper and have empathy for that person who may have suffered deeply at the hands of others.
When you experience suffering, you may feel tempted to label it as darkness, which will drag you further down into sadness, frustration, and/or anger, all negative emotions that pushes away your happiness and negatively impacts everyone you interact with. From the middle, you’ll be able to see the light in even the most darkest of situations.
From the middle, suffering expands our gratitude practice by making us more present and aware of all the good things we have in our lives. Here are my 10 examples of how suffering can expand our gratitude practice:
1. When a loved one dies, we’re grateful for the time we had with that person.
2. When our romantic relationship falls apart, we’re grateful to have had the opportunity to experience romance.
3. When we fail at a goal, we’re grateful for the lessons we learned from the failure.
4. When we face financial hardship, we’re grateful for every little thing we have that helps us get by.
5. When we provide value for others and get attacked by opposition or critics, we’re grateful for our ability to create value for others and evolve.
6. When facts in litigation aren’t believed where we face fines, jail, or unfavorable rulings for business, divorce or our personal life, we’re grateful that we had the opportunity to tell what happened.
7. When we can no longer drive a vehicle, we’re grateful for public transportation.
8. When our health declines, we’re grateful for still being alive and having what abilities we still have.
9. When we are wronged by people, we’re grateful for all the positive people in our lives.
10. When our life appears to be in turmoil, we’re grateful that we were born to even have a shot at life.
2 of my daily practices: the middle way and gratitude.
Waikele on the early morning of February 22, 2019.
Fade out or keep going? What are we chasing after in this competitive and sometimes cruel world? Money? Power? Fame? When you reach it, you get attacked by others and punished more severely. Is it worth it? I think most of us want to be happy and at peace. There’s something beautiful in fading out from the craziness of society to be with your own soul in a peaceful and quiet life. Maybe live a simple life near the ocean or up in the mountains. It sounds so nice to meditate, read, research, write, create art, produce content that helps others, build a service for others using technology, and only hang out with those who lift your spirit. I’m not saying to completely cut ourselves off from the world. We could still continue our hustle to create value for others from afar, only coming back to society for our loved ones and for our most passionate projects. Do you feel this sometimes? If this was possible would you try it?
This is a picture of the sunset in Waikele, Hawaii on 2/19/19.
I took a picture of the half moon in downtown Honolulu after an event while waiting for the bus to go to my next event on the early evening of February 12, 2019. The view looked even more beautiful in person! Being present has made me more appreciative of the beauty around me.
Second, I’m super grateful for the terrific bus system in Honolulu, Hawaii. I told Mayor Kirk Caldwell at the event that The Bus is awesome!
He replied, “Jon, it was always awesome!”
“I didn’t get to experience how awesome it is until now!” I said. Not driving a vehicle for a year has made me super grateful of public transportation. I can’t wait to use the rail, which I voted in support of when I was a politician in the Hawaii State Legislature.
Two of my daily practices: mindfulness and gratitude!!! Crush it my friends!!!
Dim the light of my laptop.
Darkness moves all over me.
I play a song.
The melodic sound pulls my soul.
I float to a place where only emotions flow.
The feelings of love overwhelms me.
Tingling sensations move throughout me.
I cry.
– Poem, Jon Riki Karamatsu, 2/22/19 –
I wrote this poem in about a minute in the early morning of 2/22/19. Poems are a way for us to write at a higher emotional realm. It’s therapeutic for me. When I was younger, I would go to events & gatherings that often involved alcohol. I would work super hard, nonstop & saw charity events, business mixers, & social gatherings as a break to look forward to, a reward for the hard work I’ve done. Socializing with positive people is good but the alcohol part led me to my DUI incidents, one I called the police on myself, the other I was placed in jail & charged with refusal when I asked questions that only a prosecuting attorney would ask, which I was at the time. There’s other ways to relieve stress, anxiety, & sadness. I spend a great majority of my time with my laptop, my partner. Together, we produce things for myself & others. I catch the bus & only go to events if it’s something I have to do for my business or client, or if it’s for someone I care about. Sometimes I get rides with my mom or my business partner.
To heal my suffering, I have to go within me. By working on creative writing, especially fiction, I can live other lives, experience different places, & fall in love. The words we put on paper evoke our five senses & feelings. Every journey, like our own lives, has its conflicts. Every protagonist has his or her flaws & vulnerability. Without conflicts & character flaws, there is no story. If we did write it, it would be boring. So if you have problems & flaws in your life, you have a story! You’re our protagonist, our hero who we are rooting for!!! Keep going my friends!!!
Since I was little, my mom and dad encouraged me to try different things, learn, & work hard. You never know, anything is possible. You may live your dreams. Some of mine came true, like becoming a politician, practicing law, building businesses, & helping nonprofits with a mission of peace within ourselves & the world.
However, when you take a chance on a dream, a vision, a value you want to share with others, you put yourself at risk of failure, criticism, & even hate. I get most of my anxiety worrying about whether I will fail or if someone will attack me or my organization. Most of these anxieties are about things I can’t control. To lessen this darkness that slows down my progress & deflates my happiness, I practice what I can control: (1) Always keep learning & building new skills; (2) Hustle like I’m a fiercely determined soccer striker with #7 on the back of my jersey, practicing my craft everyday so I can play for that championship title; (3) Have patience in the process, as I understand many big goals take years to achieve; & (4) Be grateful from the moment I wake up until I sleep. I appreciate the chance to be alive, all the good things in my life, the lessons of my failures, the ability to learn new things, Hawaii, travel, & my loved ones.
It’s not always easy. We all have our down days. Yet, tomorrow is always another day to crush it! And yes, with a positive mindset, we can achieve great heights & fill our lives with happiness a vast majority of our time. So attack your dreams! Learn, hustle & live with patience. Most importantly, be grateful for your shot at life & all the wonderful things around you!
– Jon Riki Karamatsu, Haiku Poem No. 216, 12/31/2018 –
When you get taken down, take that negative energy to power your comeback. Rebuild, have empathy for your opposition, and keep providing value for others. Positivity will always rise.
– Jon Riki Karamatsu, Haiku Poem No. 212, 12/31/2018 –
The harder you work at your dreams, the further you go. The further you go, others will hate on you and crush you. All they see of you is dirt. Ignore them. They can crush the dirt for us. It is where we grind and hustle anyways. Focus on creating value for others, the diamonds underneath the dirt. Only those who appreciate the value you give them, will see and feel the diamonds!
I ran 4.19 miles on the 1st day of 2019! The sun was out, and the air was crisp and cool. I’m wore my 2017 @honolulumarathon shirt, @asics Kayano 23 shoes and socks, @underarmour shorts, and @armpocket case for my @samsungmobile Galaxy S7 Edge. I really enjoy using my @bose soundsport for exercise and everyday use. In 2018, I exercised 214 times. I plan to exercise at least 200 times in 2019 but with more intensity. Have fun with you 2019 exercise goals!
I ran just under 3 miles in the crisp air. Exercise is one of the key practices to boost our physical, mental, and spiritual health. It’s a super habit, along with sleep and gratitude that makes us feel unstoppable with what we set ourselves out to do!
I’m so thankful for my mom who has been waking up about 3 a.m. every year to drive me from the Westside of Oahu to the Honolulu Marathon’s starting line by Ala Moana Beach Park. Then she picks me up at about 10 a.m. at Kapiolani Park after I complete the run and receive my medal, shell lei, finisher shirt, malasada (Portuguese fried donut), banana, and Gatorade or water.
After finishing the Honolulu Marathon on Sunday December 9, 2018, my mom and I went to St. Louis Drive Inn for lunch. My mom had an apple turnover and coffee. I chose the fresh seafood plate, which includes sashimi, mahi mahi, shrimp tempura. Ono! (Delicious in Hawaiian language). If you haven’t tried St. Louis Drive Inn yet, or are a visitor wanting to eat what the locals in Hawaii eat, check the drive inn out at 3145 Waialae Avenue, Honolulu, Hawaii.
– Jon Riki Karamatsu, Haiku Poem #138, 6/27/2018 –
No matter how hard life gets, whether it be financial hardship, a death of a loved one, or a broken heart, we have to do our best to see all the good we have in our life. Day by day as we work at our projects, we get better and a bit closer to our dreams. In person and through social media, we can support one another. We’re in this together.
I took this picture in Waikele, Hawaii on 10/30/2018.
– Jon Riki Karamatsu, Haiku Poem #185, 10/28/2018 –
Have empathy for angry people who limit themselves by their anger into small boxes, but create your dream life in blank spaces where anything is possible, and be happy while they destroy themselves.
The children of a neverending summer jumping off a stepladder into the ocean. As adults, life can come at us hard. Children remind us to live in the present moment. They clearly define mindfulness by the way they live. Beautiful Haleiwa, Hawaii with my friend Mike who added comments on the moment. We reminisced when we were children. We could relate on how these children felt, not wanting the moment to end, playing until the last drop of sunlight.
No pill can pack all the health benefits of exercise. It’s good for our mind and body. My favorite is running outdoors. I’ve enjoyed running since my days playing soccer.
We all face stressful events and people. For me, practicing a positive mindset, reframing the stressful events as challenges, exercise, sleep, happy music, reading and listening about positive practices performed by others, creative writing, meditation, and positive relationships help me in maintaining my mental and physical resilience against stress. Here’s a great article on how we can better manage our stress.
Having enough sleep is important for our mental and physical health. It’s a challenge for me because I’m always thinking, even when I want to sleep. I can read and write for many hours, even until sunrise, which I’m trying to avoid. If I get 7 or more hours of sleep, I add a win to my daily wins journal. I had almost 9 hours of sleep last night, my 70th time sleeping 7 or more hours for 2018.
To distract me from worrying about tomorrow, I work on what I can today.
At times we decline opportunities to pursue our dreams, which causes us stress. I’ve been through it with my political and legal career, and now I’m going through it with my recent goals in the private sector. Focusing on what I can work on now has helped me move forward on my journey, even through the roughest parts. I wish you the best in your journey. I’m feeling you and cheering for you!
Our worries can make it hard to sleep. Before bed, I like to drink a hot decaffeinated tea or hot chocolate, take a hot shower, and wrap myself in this cozy Nautica bathrobe that my sister Mia gave me some years ago for Christmas. Also, reading a book, especially fiction helps. Every so often I meditate to clear my mind. As a last resort, we could take a supplement to help us sleep so long as we are okay waking up wanting to sleep more, which is better than waking up with morning anxiety. Wishing you the best!
Music plays a big role in my life. I listen to instrumental or classical when I need to do deep thinking. To evoke my creativity, I enjoy pop, EDM, alternative, and reggae. When I’m feeling down or stressed, EDM is my favorite. When I think about it, EDM is my favorite for a lot of things: exercise, dance, chores, and writing.
We can stay on the offense by working on things we can control. Reacting and panicking to things we can’t control will put us on the defense, destroying our mood, which in turn, kills our productivity.
An example of nonattachment and gratitude combined. Two very powerful practices. “My love will always be attached to you, but not my selfish desires. I’m forever grateful for what I had with you. I love you.”
Combined with gratitude, exercise is a powerful practice because it not only develops our body, but our mind. Mental health is key in maintaining a positive outlook, which tremendously supports our career and personal life.
1. Sleep.
2. Exercise.
3. Eat a balanced diet.
4. Gratitude.
5. Mindfulness – Always be aware of all the wonderful things.
6. Non-attachment – Don’t let my emotions for people, things, and events affect me negatively.
7. The glass is half full, not half empty – Look at the positive things.
8. Compassion.
9. Empathy.
10. Forgive.
11. Self-Reflect.
12. Meditate – Zen (clear my mind).
13. Meditate/Pray – Send love to others.
14. Listen to Music.
15. Sensory Therapy – Hot or cold shower; Massage; lemon scented cologne; and vanilla and lavender scented candles
16. Outdoor Therapy – Ocean Therapy is my favorite.
17. Visualize my goals.
18. Vision Board – Pinterest, computer wallpaper, and/or on wall.
19. Schedule my daily goals for work and play.
20. Write and update my yearly goals.
21. Write and update my lifetime goals.
22. Count my wins daily.
23. Spend time with loved ones.
24. Be around positive people.
25. Make new friends.
26. Law of Attraction – Perform positive actions and I will attract positive things.
27. Follow my passion.
28. Visualize my ideas and how they could work.
29. Write down my ideas.
30. Share and give away my ideas.
31. Provide value for others.
32. Create services and products that solves problems.
33. Disrupt the market – Don’t just blend in with the market, but do things differently to make it better.
34. Do the work and learn everything I can about my business.
35. Learn for my personal enjoyment.
36. Better old skills and develop new skills – 10,000 Hours Rule (Practice)
37. Read fiction and nonfiction.
38. Watch documentaries and educational videos.
39. Watch inspirational movies.
40. Write fiction and nonfiction.
41. Learn from my mentors and virtual mentors.
42. Use the energy from negative experiences to motivate me to work on my goals.
43. Move forward on my goals every day. On challenging days, I ask myself, “What are one or two things I can do to make me feel good and accomplished for the day?” Then I execute.
44. Tell a story to get 1,000 true supporters.
45. Be authentic to get 1,000 true supporters.
46. Travel.
47. Reward my wins.
I update my practices as I move forward in my life, thus, I will post an updated list of my practices when I adjust it. Have a great and peaceful life!
Today, October 3, 2017, I exercised for the 117th time in 2017. Early this morning, I lifted weights at 24 Hour Fitness in Mililani, Hawaii, and then I ran a quick 2.5 miles in Waikele, Hawaii before my meeting. Yesterday, my doctor and I were very happy with my physical examination results!
Hana hou (one more time in Hawaiian language)! Woke up with my hair sticking up and put on my exercise clothes for motivation to produce more happy chemicals from my drugs – talking about exercise boys and girls. One of the best ways to get a natural high. Cut it up for inner peace!
When you work hard and put yourself out there, people will judge you, hate you, and punish you harder, but you keep going for the smiles and tears on the faces you’ve helped. Keep flying with positivity my friends!
Stop the madness by breathing in slowly, then exhaling slowly. Lower your heartrate. Become one with your soul. Think of love, and fill yourself up with energy. When charged up, send your love/energy to another. Aaaahh, it feels so good!
I was saddened to hear of the passing of Chester Bennington of Linkin Park on July 20, 2017 at the age of 41. He was also the lead singer for Dead By Sunrise and fronted Stone Temple Pilots from 2013 to 2015. His voice had a great range for melodic top 40 tracks to the hard screaming sounds of rock and roll that sometimes blended with rap by Mike Shinoda, the other frontman of Linkin Park.
Chester was authentic and open about his life, the struggles of his childhood when his parents became divorced, being sexually abused by an individual older than him, and getting bullied in school. He let out his frustration and suffering in his art and music. Much of his struggle resonates in the lyrics of the songs he helped write and through the sound of his voice. However, Chester also turned to drugs and alcohol to numb his pain. Even with his rise into a rockstar with amazing bands, he faced depression until he took his life.
As a politician in Hawaii, I worked on the issues of bullying, sex abuse, drugs, and mental health. I continued with some of this work while a Deputy Prosecuting Attorney and Legislative Liaison at the Department of the Prosecuting Attorney of the City and County of Honolulu. I left public service after being charged by the police for driving under the influence when I was stopped at a roadblock. Half the time I served in public service, I felt like I was dealing with power trips of politicians and judges, many with temper tantrums who were unable to put the issues above themselves. Now, I direct my efforts in helping the community through start-up business ventures, business law, and nonprofit organizations. If I succeed in building the businesses that I’m passionate about, I want to dedicate my money on causes that I’ve failed to achieve as a politician and government attorney such as building a peace curriculum in our schools to teach our children positive daily practices to reduce bullying, sex assault, verbal abuse and physical violence; and helping orphans of war receive water, food, medicine, clothes, toys, and an education.
The death of Chester by suicide hit me emotionally. I’ve been listening to Linkin Park since their beginning. I’m listening to Linkin Park songs as I write this post. I know the power of the darkness can haunt us, especially when we’re alone. At night and early morning is when they attack me. When they win, nothing matters – nothing. I know this. I live because I’ve created so many goals to work on. I work hard – so hard that it pushes away my pain – that is until I’m alone, then I have to start all over again. But I can’t just live by working. I want to love and be loved. I want to have fun. For these reasons, I created a system of practices I created that helps me to keep moving forward through gratitude, peace, and happiness. If you are facing anxiety and depression, these are the things I do to counter the darkness:
(1) Sleep – For maximum output, 7+ hours of sleep works for me.
(2) Exercise – Run, lifting weights, and swimming are some of the exercise I do that gives me a high and a feeling of confidence that I can achieve anything.
(3) Healthy Diet – Foods that have Vitamin B-complex and Vitamin C helps us against depression and anxiety. L-Theanine in green tea has a calming affect.
(4) Gratitude – I have gratitude for not just the big things, but also the many little things.
(5) Mindfulness – I live in the moment to be aware of the beauty and wonderful things around me. Mindfulness is what energizes our gratitude. The more mindful I am, the higher the level of my gratitude.
(6) Win-Win/Positive Thinking. There are wins in everything we do, even failure and bad incidents.
(7) Goals – I plan and execute my goals by a system that rewards small wins and big wins. It’s the process of the daily practice that gives us a rush of dopamine every time we achieve small wins, and in time, we get that satisfaction from attaining our big wins.
(8) Writing – Blog, journal, social media, fiction, and nonfiction. Writing is so therapeutic, and it feels good to send positive messages to my friends and network.
(9) Positive Relationships – Stay near positive people who will fire you up with good energy, and avoid negative people who drain your energy.
(10) Music – Soothing music is great while working, and when you need a lift, play a lively song and dance.
(11) Read and listen about amazing people – Exposure to people who overcame huge challenges keeps me motivated and thinking extraordinary with a mindset that anything is possible when you consistently work hard, build relationships, and learn.
(12) Go to your happy places – My happy places are beaches in Hawaii for relaxation and coffee shops for work.
(13) Ocean Therapy and Nature –For me, swimming in the ocean does wonders by heightening all my senses and revitalizing my vision for my life.
(14) Sunlight – Vitamin D3 from the sun helps us against anxiety and depression.
(15) Sensory Therapy – I enjoy lemon scented cologne, vanilla and lavender scented candles, hot and cold showers, and massages.
(16) Learn – Right now, I enjoy learning about subjects such as self-development, health, writing, Japanese language and culture, aviation, fuel, Iraq war, and orphans of war.
(17) Meditation – This practice calms my mind, body, and soul.
(18) Travel – Experiences at other locations creates wonderful memories and recharges our mind, body, and soul.
(19) Read Fiction – Experience other lifestyles and locations, feel the beauty of love, and do extraordinary things.
(20) Inspirational Movies and Television Shows
The following song, “Shadow of the Day” by Linkin Park expresses how I feel about the loss of Chester Bennington and the darkness that haunts us all.
Here is “Heavy” by Linkin Park, another song that moves me emotionally.
“Numb” by Linkin Park is a song that resonates with the frustration we feel after working so hard to be who we are, only to be attacked by others who want something, and punished harder by others because of who we’ve become, despite us still being human.
“Nobody Can Save Me” by Linkin Park. On a positive note, near the ending of the song, the lyrics goes:
I wanna fall wide awake now
So tell me it’s alright
Tell me I’m forgiven, tonight
And only I can save me now
I’m holding up a light
Chasing up the darkness inside
And I don’t wanna let you down
But only I can save me!
Been searching somewhere out there
For what’s been missing right here
I want to end this entry with a positive and motivational song by Linkin Park, “Battle Symphony.” Chester will live on through his music, loved ones, and fans. My heart goes out to him and his loved ones.
My friend and mentor, Hawaii Speaker Emeritus Calvin K.Y. Say and I back in 2010, speaking to a Chinese organization in Honolulu, Hawaii. “Always forgive,” is what he told me in my early years as a politician when I was being attacked by opposition and negative people. This advice has stayed with me. Keep moving forward with peace!
Exercise gives me a high of happy chemicals! It reduces my anxiety and stress. Weightlifting with a run on the treadmill at the gym, a run outdoors, a swim in a lagoon or pool, or doing all 3 in one exercise session can boost my energy and focus tremendously. The high I feel from exercise makes me feel like all my dreams are achievable, so it plays a huge role in my career and personal life. Exercise extends our life by preventing cancer, heart attack, stroke, diabetes, depression, and other health risks. Here, I just finished lifting weights and running on the treadmill at 24 Hour Fitness in Mililani, Hawaii on July 17, 2017.
In life, we will have happy times, but there will be periods of challenges whether it be deaths of loved ones, illness, financial hardship, difficult relationships, bad work environments, spiteful law suits, violence, and/or prison time or penalties because of false or inaccurate statements. Gratitude is a powerful practice that helps us to always be mindful of all the good that we have in our lives. Through gratitude we can proceed through even our darkest days with the things we can control such as time with positive loved ones, exercise, meditation, writing, learning, passionate projects, helping others, and other positive things that keep us high above the things we can’t control, like negative events and people. Gratitude keeps our energy positive with love, compassion, and empathy that helps us rise over anxiety, sadness, and anger. Positivity spreads when we share it with others. Some of the most beautiful pictures of light occur when it pierces through darkness. Likewise, gratitude makes us appreciate the light or good even among darkness. I took this peaceful picture of sunlight glowing around the dark clouds at Haleiwa beach on July 6, 2017. If you have challenging times, I hope this post helps you to still appreciate and enjoy life. May peace be with you. With Warmest Aloha, Jon
Great article on 7 steps to be happy. Here they are with my interpretation and input! Strive for a great day everyday!
Have something to look forward to: Plans with a friend or a treat for yourself such as nice dish or dessert.
Manage your mood: Do what gives you a feeling of control. Avoid doing things that throws your emotions off, save it for later in the day.
Eat breakfast: Studies show that breakfast makes us feel emotionally happier.
Do something you dread: Getting something done that is challenging or has been bothering you provides a sense of accomplishment.
Send a “thank you” email or text.
Plan how you’ll deal with challenges: Think about the worst that could happen and it probably won’t but if it does, you will feel prepared and ready to handle the issue.
Kiss somebody you love: I don’t have anyone to kiss so I’ll pretend. When I do have someone to kiss, I will definitely kiss her whenever we go our separate ways.
Like many of you, I strive for things that have a great amount of uncertainty that create anxiety and stress. I wish I was a superhuman, immune to such feelings but I’m not. So I make an effort on overcoming anxiety and stress with many practices like gratitude, mindfulness, win-win thinking, exercise, balanced diet, writing, music, nature, time with positive people, sensory therapy, meditation, and such. Whenever I work on any of my goals that has a high risk of losing time and money such as elected politics, business projects, and fiction and nonfiction books, I try to mitigate my risk with research, strategy, and hard work, but no matter what, a degree of uncertainty will always exist.
To alleviate my anxiety on the uncertainty, I practice win-win thinking or positive thinking by telling myself, “When I invest time and money into a project I’m passionate about, at worse, I get a higher education like attaining another college degree. At best, I get a return on my investment on top of my education!” By looking at my goals in this manner, I see the outcome as a win no matter what the outcome because my time and money are used towards bettering myself in gaining more knowledge, skills, and relationships, but if I succeed, I can get a higher education and make a living out of what I love! Stay positive everyone!
Here’s a picture from my short 2.77 mile run along the coast of Ko’olina on 5/15/2017. After my run, I swam the length of Lagoon 4 six times. Exercise and being in and near the ocean is helpful in alleviating stress and anxiety. I’m grateful to live in Hawaii.
JON RIKI KARAMATSU 